Posts Tagged ‘control’
Lost at an Open Space event
Cindy Hoong comments that at Open Space events, we wander around feeling lost and pretending we aren’t so that we fit in with the geeks.
Mmm . . . . yes, I did remember that feeling as I cast around looking for landmarks to orient myself. We do like a measure of order in our lives and plenty of control for ourselves.
The first stage of group formation, anyway, reminds leaders that we are totally dependent on them to answer the question in our minds, “Do I belong here?”
Landmarks help people move from dependence to independence. Social landmarks help us feel included.
What can we do when we feel lost at an Open Space event?
One of the most important features of an open space event is that everyone takes part – even if it is only to demonstrate how to make a cup of coffee.
If the event is half-half – then I would fall back on the open source principles. Think of something you like to do and volunteer to do it. Offer to staff the reception area. Offer to make the coffee. Set yourself up as official photographer or blogger. Do something inanane ~ match people in green sweaters to people in green sweaters.
But do something. Preferably something you like to do. Preferably something you are good at. Preferably something that achieves a goal important to you.
Then your mindset changes. You want to know where the signing up board is. You want to grab a room. You want to get to know the other participants so you can tailor your presentation.
Get into the flow. Join the river. Become a player.
Hope that helps!
I’m stuck! Oh, we are. So often!
From time to time, we feel like we are stuck deep mud
Have you ever driven a car into deep mud? It’s infuriating. Your first impulse is to gun the engine. Your wheels spin. And you sink into the mud!
Arrgh! We got into the mud because we were in a hurry and in frustration we’ve made it even harder to get out!
Knowledge matters when we are stuck in mud
- Try explaining to a driver stuck in mud that they must inch out!
- Try explaining that they must put the lightest touch on the accelerator and give the wheels a chance to gain traction!
- Try explaining that we might need to put something dry under the wheels to give them some grip.
- Try explaining that pushing and heaving is not the answer.
Patience and know-how is going to win the day!
Change driver? I would but it is your life!
When people sink real cars into real mud, it is often easier to tell them to get out and let me drive the car out. Especially if they are blokes. They don’t listen to women about driving!
But in the real world, you have to drive yourself out. I can’t do that for you. I am also going to leave you if you are so engrossed in your own wobbly that all you want to do is put your foot on the pedal.
When you are willing to calm down and work patiently to get out of this muddy dilemma, then we can work together.
These are the questions we will ask and answer when you are stuck in mud
- Where are the wheels? Where are our traction points? Where are our points of contact with the world or the problem?
- What could we put under the wheels? Is there some gravel or cardboard or grass we could put under the wheels? What can we do to help the world help us?
- Can we be trusted to put the vehicle in first gear, or even reverse, and apply our feet very lightly to the gas pedal? Can we be relied upon to inch out with out getting into other mud, splattering your helpers, or driving into them? Will you concentrate?
Of course you can get out of a difficult situation
But you have to want to. You have to have some idea that this is an important task. You are going to have to ditch your temper tantrum. You are going to have to work with what is workable – what is in touch with the world and how can we strengthen the connection. You are going to be controlled – a light touch to allow the world to respond helpfully. You are going to have to know your tools and use them to express your respect to the world.
You can’t try this and then that and then something else. Control is of the essence here.
- Review the situation and find the points were we make contact with the world.
- Improve the traction at those points.
- Inch out using touch-and-feel to improve the traction.
Are you up for getting out of stuck?
Psychologists, mentors, coaches help you keep your nerve. But you will do the work. And you can begin right now by taking a deep breath and listing all the points in the system where something works – anything that works.
Take that list to your psychologist. Well, you might save yourself the fee and solve the problem yourself!
A currency of visions not a currency of force.Thank *** we live in the 21st century!
Posted October 25, 2009
on:Masculine cultures are not about ‘guys’ – they are about force
Yesterday, I heard two female politicians bickering on BBC Radio 4 – talking over each other as the male moderator said amiably. A tedious, wearisome listen.
This ‘spectacle’ (what is the auditory equivalent?) neatly illustrates the point that masculine cultures are not to do with ‘guys’. Masculine cultures are to do with the currency of force.
Britain’s masculine culture
Britain has long had a masculine culture. Though smooth and very often, very witty, British culture is not so much controlled as controlling. When it is relaxed and funny, as it often is on BBC Radio 4, it is also complacent. The funny people live in the certain knowledge that their status in the world is not being challenged, let alone threatened.
Watch how they react if they have to account for themselves! That is the test of a culture. How do we respond to the huge variety of visions in the world – and our need to fit our visions into the visions of others? What do we do when people long-ignored want room to pursue their visions?
Sadly, we often move to defend “our right” to live as a law unto ourselves. We often demand that the newly-enfranchised make room for us, even though we have never made room for them, and certainly don’t intend to start now.
Britain’s masculine culture in the literature and film
The masculine culture of Britain is an old story and is often told in literature and film. For utter complacency, read P.G. Woodehouse and the relationship between Bertie and his butler Jeeves. For the ongoing struggle, read Rumpole stories and his manouvering around institutionalized class in the legal system.
And for an alternative to a ‘masculine culture’, find yourself a copy of Goodbye Mr Chips -the old musical or the modern version with Martin Clues – both are great. Settle down for a charming 1.5 hours and the better possibilities a feminine culture.
I am so glad to be living in the 21st century!
What a relief! Not least for guys who must be heartily sick of the pushing-and-shoving they have been required to endure.
In the 21st century, our currency will be less of force and more of visions.
I am 99% persuaded by positive psychology, largely because I thought like a positive psychologist long before it was invented. I never took to clinical psychology so I had nothing to discard, so to speak.
But it is the darker side of life where I think positive psychology has its limits. Maybe the typical positive psychologist does not feel that because they have the skills to deal with people who are deeply unhappy.
My reservations come at many levels. As a practitioner, though, I want to know what to do when we are in a dark place.
What does it mean to be resilient when times are terrible? What are the critical processes that we are trying to leverage?
If I succeed at exercising leadership when times are miserable, if I show resilience and help others to be resilient, what might these processes be?
Here are 5 processes underlying resilience
I would be interested in your thoughts.
Active listening
The key to listening to angry people, among which I include people who are deeply insulted, humiliated, frightened, defeated and generally gibbering wrecks, is to acknowledge their emotion. We don’t have to agree with their emotion. We don’t have to copy their emotion. We don’t have to make any comment about the circumstances.
We simply have to acknowledge the emotion, and show, through our acknowledgement, that we still respect the person, in spite their emotional display, and in spite the circumstances that led to these humiliating circumstances.
Generally, that leads to slight embarrassment on their part but that is a much more comfortable emotion than the anger and hurt.
Developing a group
We are often angry and humiliated when we have lost status and losing status usually means losing status in a group or being ejected from a group. Referring to a group to which we are both a part helps restore status.
Additionally, when people have been humiliated in front of their nearest and dearest, particularly the partners, children and parents, we should restore their status in their eyes too.
Identify small actions
Anger comes from loss of status and be implication, loss of control. When we look for small things we can do now, and we do them, we feel better.
Be grateful ourselves for having the opportunity to help
While we are doing all three above, we are active. We take the initiative. We are in control. We belong.
Be grateful, and allow our gratitude to show to the other person. They will be grateful in turn.
Gratitude is a great mood-lifter.
Enjoy the results
As the other person lifts from utter dejection to a willingness to try, enjoy. And be grateful again. That way we share the ‘positive feedback’ with the other. Let them share the way our mood has improved.
And watch the entire group become more buoyant
If we have done our job well, collective efficacy and trust should have risen. And we all know that collective efficacy – our belief that our colleagues are competent – is the most powerful factor in raising school quality. It is bound to have the same impact in other circumstances.
Trust also creates upward positive feedback spirals. Though, we may need a lot when we start from a dark place.
What do you think?
- Are these the effective mechanisms for regaining resilience in desperate places?
- Are these effective mechanisms for encouraging people who really have few ways forward and little to push off from?
- Would these questions even help you in the day-to-day dispiriting trials of the western world – like getting stranded in an overcrowded airport?
- Are you able to try them out in the less-than-terrible conditions so that one day you can use them when life is truly terrible?
To recap:
L – Listen
G – Group
A – Act
G – Gratitude
E – Enjoy
To arrive is scary. What will be our journey, if we are already there?
As I’ve watched the supersonic work pace of Barack Obama, I’ve also been annoyed with the curmudgeonly spirit of many commentators.
I believe they are scared. Not because of anything Barack Obama may or may not do, but because Barack Obama may be the person we all want to be. If it is possible to be articulate, poised, present, warm, honest, then we don’t have to be scared, hesitant, insecure, insincere and most of all ‘outsiders’. We can just ‘be’ and ‘be accepted’. To arrive is scary. What will be our journey, if we are already here?
Don’t let disappointment be an excuse to delay arrival
Nonetheless, I was very disappointed by the bombing of Pakistan. Sending an unmanned drone into a civilian building seems to me a murderous act. How can we defend this? I would like this to stop.
We want what we don’t like not to be
My emotional reaction to this event follows a spiral that, I believe, is quite common when ordinary people follow politics and world events. I read the reports and I felt disgust. Then I felt judgmental. And then I wanted to reject what disgusted me.
And when reality does not cooperate, we sulk
But the source of my disgust is in power (and popular). Rejection is not an option open to me. So, I felt down and dejected. Feeling that there was nothing I could do but endure the undurable, I withdrew, at least emotionally, and felt alienated, despondent and dejected
Curmudgeonly behavior is a mark of esteem in UK but it is “wet”
It is very likely that many people who express a curmudgeonly view are going through a similar process. Something specific disgusts them, and they allow that one point, important as it may be, to allow them to feel despair about all points. Positive psychologists call this ‘catastrophizing‘. We go from one negative point to believing that we lack control. Not only do we believe that we lack control on this issue, we go on to believe that we lack control on other issues too. And we don’t stop there. We go on to believe that we will always lack control, to the end of time. In other words, we feel that what has gone wrong is persistent, pervasive, and personal.
So what am I going to do?
Put the strength of my feeling in words
Well, this issue is important to me. I am sickened by the bombing of civilian targets. I am ashamed it was done. I leaves me uncomfortable and embarrassed and feeling that our condolences are woefully insufficient. I don’t even know how to express this adequately.
Be a player
But it is also wrong to write off the hope that has come to the world. One day I may be in a position to influence decisions like this. And if I am to open a conversation with influential people, I need to be informed, and much more informed than I am now. So I will become so.
List specific small things that I can do
And for now, should I meet my MP, who is a UK specialist on the conflict in Afghanistan, I will ask him. I will tell I am unhappy and that I want to know more. And though the whole matter makes me want to throw up, I will listen and learn.
Stay where the decisions are made
If we want the world to be as we wish, we cannot pick up our toys and go home every time we don’t like something. I am afraid the art of politics is to be where the decisions are made. Sometimes we have to stay and engage.
Stop the decline into ineffectiveness
Positive psychology does not say that the problems of the world will go away. But it does help us not sink into despair and become ineffectual.
Come with me!
- Is there something that makes you angry and fearful? Are you overgeneralising from one issue, thinking it is ‘persistent, pervasive and personal’ – catastrophising?
- If you put aside your general despair and remain in the forum where decisions are made, what do you need to do to become more effective at influencing our collective decisions?
- And having thought this through, can you see a way that you may be able to influence events in future?
Business-oriented HRM curriculum
I am teaching undergraduate and postgraduate HRM and for the last 8 weeks I have been walking the post-graduates, in particular, through a simple heuristic for understanding a business model and its HRM implications.
Of the many different businesses they have chosen to work on, two please me in particular: the first is Islamic banking and the second is insurance broking (in Cameroon).
Simple heuristic for understanding a business
I am grateful to Michael Riley of Sussex University for learning (via his writing) a simple heuristic for understanding a business.
Inspect the revenue graphs and understand how revenue varies
Once we understand ‘sales demand”, we can look at the derived labor demand. In manufacturing, labor demand may be mediated by technology. In services, like banking and insurance broking, labor demand is far more direct. When we have a good feel about who we will need, when and where, then we can set about managing our labor supply.
Variability in Islamic banking
My Islamic banker, after shyly announcing he was an Islamic banker and taking the trouble to educate me on the principle of “no interest” and the products they sell, reacted as most people do when they talk about HR. He started describing the HR systems and described a business that was ultra-stable. Because Michael Riley’s heuristic had cued us to look for variability, we asked a few more questions and this is what we come up with.
- Their long term growth or contraction depends upon reputation.
- They have three Islamic festivals, such as the Eid which is coming up shortly, when as at Christmas, spending (and borrowing) is very high.
- As with all banks, they are affected by weather, economic and political events which they monitor closely.
- After 9/11, they came under suspicion even from Islamic customers.
Now that we understand how the need for service varies, we can imagine when line managers will be calling for skill and the skills they will call for. And we have a fair chance of matching labor supply to labor demand.
When we achieve this match (which will never be perfect), then we can contribute to the ‘bottom line’ of the organization.
How we do that is the technical skill of HRM. But to use our tools, first we must have a mental image of the match we are trying to achieve.
Insurance Broking in Cameroon
The insurance brokers in Cameroon, as far as I can see, are structured as any independent insurance brokers would be. They are a family owned firm. Their business peaks at the calendar year end and has a steady though variable stream of business throughout the year.
Once again, once we understand this pattern, we can easily see what is necessary to match the demand with supply.
Sales Demand and the Credit Crunch
Interestingly, the cause of the credit crunch seems to be some back-room sales activity: borrowing money on the wholesale markets. I think if HR Directors had fully understood the sales demand of their firm, they might (and this is speculative) have partitioned the business and noticed earlier that the non-wholesale parts could not sustain their payrolls. They might certainly have taken active steps to protect the pension funds which is a serious obligation if they are also Trustees.
I remember working with the HR Director of a combined investment, corporate and retail bank. She had noticed that their payroll exceeded their interest income (not relevant to an Islamic bank!) and they were being sustained by fees. On that basis, she had carefully structured her payroll into ‘columns’ beginning with the essentials (basic pay, state insurance, pension, health insurance, etc) moving across the page to luxuries. She then brokered a signed agreement with employee representatives that in a downturn, they would start removing benefits from the right hand side first. This is proactive, sensible HR policy.
As all the above is absolutely speculative, I wonder if anyone has information on the HR and the credit crunch? And if anyone else uses Michael Riley’s heuristic?
UPDATE: For an HR Managers perspective on the Recession, I have written a summary on a new post.
Recent Comments