Posts Tagged ‘identity’
If. . . we wouldn’t be we
Posted on: April 18, 2010
If
- If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
- And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
- Life would be delight,–
- But things couldn’t go right
- For in such a sad plight
- I wouldn’t be I.
- If earth was heaven and now was hence,
- And past was present, and false was true,
- There might be some sense
- But I’d be in suspense
- For on such a pretense
- You wouldn’t be you.
- If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
- And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
- Things would seem fair,–
- Yet they’d all despair,
- For if here was there
- We wouldn’t be we.
- e.e. cummings
Teaching the challenge of morality
I’ve spent a lot of my life teaching young adults. Once we have gone beyond the “declarative knowledge”, the labels for things, we move on to “procedural knowledge”, getting our hands dirty.
At school, a friend of mine didn’t like putting sulphuric acid on zinc chips She was convinced that she could hear them squeal with pain.
In social sciences, we are required to considered to fill in forms in lieu of considering ethics. We even go to great lengths to remove the effects of what we do from experiments.
Of course, all this is a nonsense. Everything we do affects people we do it with. And we are affected in turn. This is the lesson that students should learn. They need to learn to listen and to understand how other people are affected by their even seemingly innocuous actions.
And then they must decide. Are they going to act anyway, and why?
Somewhere buried in there is a hard lesson of life – that are our actions and circumstances don’t always reflect well on us ~ and that we are never comfortable with that. The day that we are uncomfortable with the uncomfortable, then we have lost it. We should feel bad about bad stuff.
But we also have to make choices despite the fact we are not going to feel good.
I like that Cummings ends with We wouldn’t be we. Because the journey that brought us together into this uncomfortable place is our shared journey. Our discomfort is a product of our shared journey. I may not like that I am in this bad place with you, but I am. That cannot be denied. And I have to act anyway. I just try to act thoughfully, knowledgeably, fairly. Often I don’t even achieve that, but I try.
And that I act does not deny that all this is bad. It’s bad. I act. That is.
And that it is bad does not change that tomorrow may not be bad. With you or without you. That is too. It just is. And to pretend that we don’t have agonizing choices to make denies that We are We. That is bad. Very bad.
I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone
I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone
enough
to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world, yet not small
enough
to be to you just object and thing,
dark and smart.
I want my free will and want it accompanying
the path which leads to action;
and want during times that beg questions,
where something is up,
to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.
I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection,
never be blind or too old
to uphold your weighty wavering reflection.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;
for there I would be dishonest, untrue.
I want my conscience to be
true before you;
want to describe myself like a picture I observed
for a long time, one close up,
like a new word I learned and embraced,
like the everyday jug,
like my mother’s face,
like a ship that carried me along
through the deadliest storm.
Rainer Maria Rilke
An optimistic poem for a New Year
Posted on: January 2, 2010
Moving Forward
The deep parts of my life pour onward,
as if the river shores were opening out.
It seems that things are more like me now,
That I can see farther into paintings.
I feel closer to what language can’t reach.
With my senses, as with birds,
I climb
into the windy heaven, out of the oak,
in the ponds broken off from the sky
my falling sinks, as if standing on fishes.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Gratitude Diary and Appreciative Inquiry
I’m not entirely sure what the last line of the poem means. Other than that, this poem illustrates the process of writing a gratitude diary or being appreciative during organizational change.
We look for those parts of the day where were feel as if we are pouring onward like a great river or soaring in the sky like a wild bird. As we focus on those parts “things seem more like me now”.
Happy 2010!
We are what we say and do
“When your eyes are tired, no part of the world can find you . . .” so says poet, David Whyte. David Whyte doesn’t blog, but he has unwittingly captured the essence of the blogging and the inature of the internet age courtesy of Larry and Sergei at Google.
This was a massive insight prior to the Google search engine. In today’s world, anything & everything we do leaves a trace – a picture, a comment, a blog post.
That worries many people. And sometimes it should. Just because Google says “first do no evil”, does not mean that there is no evil out ther.e
But if we don’t do, if we sit at home talking to no one, then there is no one and nothing to be found.
People looking for ideas, explanation, activity, colloboration – even things – only discover us if we have left a trace.
The search words that bring you to my blog tell me a lot about you . . . and me
The search words that bring people to our blogs bring that home. People search for strange things. Many people want to take a test to find out if they are good looking. This sentence may draw them to this post.
Simply, people don’t discover us for what we think we said. They discover us for what they think we said. And if we didn’t say it, there is nothing to discover. We are don’t exist. We are simply not there!
We have two choices:
- Be silent and be, well not ignored, but not known at all.
- Be misunderstood and be noticed.
Surely the latter is better. When someone has noticed, then we can can engage in a conversation. And they way they misunderstand us tells us heaps about them.
Misunderstandings are so informative!
Enjoy. Maybe we should keep a curiosity diary. What really surprised me today and what I should ask some more questions about?
Active listening
Posted on: December 3, 2007
For fear of ever losing it, I must quote The Bumble Bee word-for-word here.
“Imagine you are the leader of a new team or network.
How can you quickly find out what each team member’s number one concern is about working in this scenario?
Dr Lewis recommends you get each of them to repeat the following 5 words out loud without thinking about it too much:
“We can’t do that here”
Listen carefully to which of the five words they stress – if it’s:
- We – they are worried about their identity
- Can’t – they are worried about their beliefs and values
- Do – they are worried about their skills
- That – they are worried about their behavior
- Here – they are worried about the environment”
UPDATE: This heuristic is quite sophisticated listening, yet it is needed. Even IT people struggle with comments like : We can’t do that here. What exactly does someone mean when they say that.
Can we separate out the ideas a little more?
1 We – what will my friends and significant others think of me?
2 Can’t – that doesn’t make sense with the other things we think and do
3 Do – we don’t know how to do that, or manage that
4 That – we can do it another way but not like that
5 Here – what you suggest will harm this place
This is highly nuanced listening which helps to find a person’s underlying objection.
flowing motion 
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